hiccup blues

Well....have you ever experienced how does it feel to have a sinking sickening feeling down the pit of your stomach.....living with it with all the weight of the world upon your shoulders contemplating about turning into a T.V so that you can be shut down anytime so that you don't have the ability to think, surmise and reflect......It should have been the hey days of my life......days where you can actually work harder than the ants lining to a lump of sugar.....okay I am not being lazy....for I wake up at 6.30 in the morning.....I dress up in 'power formals' as they have told......I have my breakfast with all the hurry and hustle as shown in the movies.......I sit by the blue screen of the flatscreen PC in a gleaming plush room with flourescent lights glaring from the ceiling....one of them flickering with the same uncompromising regularity like a tormentor picking at the raw wound of the captive....the A.C kicking on and off with the same precision as it has been doing from time immemorial........I rush out to have a smoke at all possible intervals just to return on time......... I come back all drained and flop myself upon the bed and switch on the T.V........but then I look out of the window to see the same span of fashionably constructed apartments sanding by the speeding high way that reminds me I am 2 hours of airway away from home.......I called up Bhandari..... jackass as ever .......upto I dunno what tomfoolery and tricks to deceive and dictate........I can't be the jackass.......I have to be "pro-active".....I have to do "smart work".......I have to pass eight tests....I have three attempts to pass one........I called up
Sri........she was the senseless stupid girl as ever......I can't be stupid........I have to be 'tactful'.....I called up Prasenjit......the big black glutton gobbling up I dunno what like the pacman gone beserk......I can't be the glutton......I have to take care of all the expense and be economical........Sohil is as hyperactive as ever........uttering all the improbable possibilities of fleeing to home.....but I am not Sohil....I am sensible........and I am not half as eloquent as he is........and then I called mom.......and thousand miles of electronic signals and optical cables conveyed the voice with slight static and a lot of pang..........nothing has changed in them........but then everything seem to be different......have you seen how chunks of snow hangs from the cliffs of mountains........so much mass all at once trying to hurl down upon the earth with velocity unsurmised but still somehow unable to leave the clutches of the rocks........only conveying the desire by the cold fumes emerging from them but never actually commiting to fall...........I have to wake up at 6.30 in the morning again........I lie down on the soft bed but the sleep play hide-n-seek.....and I am the kid too proud to scream and yell as he fails to find his friend hiding in some corner...always giving a hint of his hideout but somehow managing to evade the searching eyes of mine...........and then I listen to Led Zep......and try to come upon the conclusion as why and how the lady came to believe and be that all that glitters is actually gold......but I don't want to think...........I am thinking of turning into a T.V............