I got this official confirmation that every person in our vicinity is essentially the same........well and that birds of the same feather indeed flock together.......so people live throughout his share of life and die unobtrusively much like a bubble in a pond with the same predictability which infact has a number of names......and 'system' is one such name........last week I got a call at night when I was as usual sitting by a glaring computer trying to make out a pattern of sanity from the high sounding technical scribbles from a very friend of mine.........and I came to know he was sitting alone in a pub trying to decipher some shape out of the staggering loneliness hovering around him like dun coloured clouds in a murky day.........and more meaningless monotones for 'ol' time's sake'........so I did the only thing that appeared to provide a solace....or rather a refuge from the onslaught of emotions......I cut the line.........so whether it is among the dark shadows of the pub providing magical solutions to the brain or with the 'cancel' button of the phone.......we all run away from something we are not really sure of......and later some of us happen to write few ingorrigible lines about the same.........

soledade

Walks alone does he,
Perhaps he's alot like me,
Blinded by confusion and frustration.
For it never sees the light before night sets.
It carries on with eyes wide shut,
In a mindless rut.
Feeling rotten to the core,
Waiting for the day, when it's pain is no more.....

-Lady Wolenczak-

I am back again..........dont know whether it matters much.....but it is so good to talk to myself again........we moved on to a new house......well a collection of three french tin can that is so popoularly known as the 'flat'......and yet again something that is so conveniently represented by a number.........I am okay with that.....atleast I certainly hope so.........and moving in is not quite as fun as taking a walk in the park in a cloudy evening.......but thats the least that happened during these listless days........I am not really an avid expressor of emotion......I guess I am much too gooey for that......but I never felt a greater urge to have someone in flesh and blood to talk to.......for there is nothing more lonely than to wake up in an empty house.......yes you guessed right.....I work in night shift.......its not that I love my work.....I don't hate it either........I am just waiting for a miracle that would make me happy and rich........and that would keep all our friends together........well I was not so sad at my college farewell.....infact I often think that we ourselves dont really know the extent to which we commit ourselves to the so called cliche of a relation called 'friendship'......and trust me....the ignorance really hurts when it is time to say goodbye.....Sohil just moved on to Mumbai.......I guess four and a half years is a pretty good time.......and a guy is allowed to take the other one for granted........and it is okay for him to expect to see his soddy urse grasping the bits n pieces of his riches in the dusty corner of the room we have been sharing for so long..........well I might be wrong.......infact I probably am.......for there is certainly more space in the room now that he is gone.......and obviously the room is much cleaner and there is an extra mattress to lie down.........but then I get this strange confusion as what to do with all these space!!!!........so when at the end of the day there is one extra plate at our dinner but no food upon it....there is this strange feeling at the pit of my stomach that drives me a step closer to the edge.......I guess I am starting to get qualified as a wreck........even the fags don't taste as good as it used to be........why can't pepole be like islands?.........sometimes I feel that humans are the most frail and vulnerable creation of God.....infact it is actually a blunder he made and I guess he was just to arrogant to accept it and make it right......